


Like a River

by troublesomeee



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pain, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Rating May Change, Romance, Slow Burn, The Force, The Force Ships It (Star Wars), all your favourites, cuz they start as enemies, hello there, like reaaaal slow, picture the best bits of TLJ and TROS but mixed up, probably, some familiar characters may appear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28098504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troublesomeee/pseuds/troublesomeee
Summary: “Love, like a river, will cut a new path whenever it meets an obstacle.” – Crystal MiddlemasAs the First Order grows stronger, Rey turns to the galaxy's greatest hero in an effort to defeat the dark side, determined to be a part of the next generation of Jedi. Kylo Ren struggles with his demons - both inside and out - in order to let the past die and to help lead the First Order to victory over the Resistance. Despite their differences and hatred for one another, they find themselves drawn together through a new bond and wonder if perhaps there is something they can learn from one another.A post-FTA story of questioned loyalties, lessons learnt, battles which are lost and won and finding belonging.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Rey had often dreamed of the ocean. She dreamed in different shades of blue: she could see wide open skies meet turquoise waters in perfect harmony; she dreamed of swimming in dark cerulean, sinking until she was met with black; she dreamed of violent waves and peaceful tides.

It was never just one form. The water was always both cold and warm, calm and raging...dark and light.

On Jakku, there was a distinct lack of water and the little they had was recycled, warm and metallic. She didn’t know why she had always imagined the tastes and smells and sights of something she had never experienced.

It haunted her as much as it gave her comfort. On the days when the sun burned more brightly across the sandy dunes, she yearned for a single drop of fresh water to ease the scratching of her parched throat. Perhaps it made her more thirsty to think of water in a desert, but she found a strange consolation in the knowledge that there were planets that were not dry and desolate like the one she had been left on. No, these planets would have an abundance of water and life.

Now, here on Ach-To, she could see it for herself. She saw water in its every form. Her senses were completely eclipsed by all the colours dancing together, the disparity of rich, earthy grasses reaching her nose while a soft sea-salt spray dappled her lips.

She took a breath, slow and steady, she closed her eyes and let the sensations flow through her like twisting currents. She stood on the edge of a rocky cliff, thinking of the waters surrounding her. Far off in the distance, the ocean was calm - an undulating blanket of blue hues cutting the sky in half. With her eyes closed, she could imagine floating away, wrapped in that same blanket.

Tall waves crash violently into the hard grey stone below, rising, breaking and collapsing on repeat. A harsh, rushing sound echoing out across the island. The tremors ricocheted up to her feet with each impact.

She knew she stood on the precipice of change, she felt the underlying anticipation for the unknown. That same feeling, when someone is about to tell you a secret, and at the moment leading up to it, before it is whispered quietly, there is a tenuous moment of heightened emotions and thoughts swirling together.

A fierce gust of wind woke her from her stupor and her hazel eyes blinked open, glistening with determination and amber in the sunlight. Slowly, she turned her head to her left, to a stony path that wound its way around the edge of the island, twisting up to the highest point. To her destination. Rey paused for a moment to control her nerves; it was almost as if the island itself was coercing her onward. The breeze was like a pair of gentle hands pushing her in the direction of the path, the waves encircled her, surrounding the peak that she was heading towards.

She let out one more gentle breath and stepped towards the epicentre of the island, not knowing it would also be the pivotal moment of her future, the single point in the ever-changing flow of time that would create a ripple in Rey’s destiny.

* * *

After several hundred steps, she finally reached the end of the path. A hooded figure, cloaked in dusty brown, stood still and silent, the wind barely moving through the fabric covering their body. They faced away, towards the waters, so she could not see their face, but she knew who it was. They were the reason why she was here, on an isolated planet searching for a new hope.

Luke Skywalker.

Slowly, Luke gazed around casting his eyes over his shoulder towards her, those bright azure blue eyes meeting hers finally. This was it, she thought. Here, she stood in front of the galaxy's greatest ever legend, except he wasn’t a legend. Just a man, standing alone on a planet in the middle of nowhere.

Rey raised her hand, extending it towards him in a steady movement. Though neither of them spoke, she could feel that he wasn’t going to question why she was here. Was that the Force? She wasn’t sure. Perhaps now she would finally be able to get answers to some of these questions.

She opened her palm to show him his lightsaber.

“Master Skywalker.” She didn’t say anything else.

The winds continued to eddy around them in tight circles, quick and moving and wild. A vast contrast to this person stood in front of her who was stoic and still and hesitant. He still hadn’t said a word. She pushed her hand forward slightly more in a further gesture.

It’s not that she was expecting a thank you, but she was expecting something. Some words of acknowledgement or wisdom. Wasn’t that what the Jedi were famous for?

“That’s not mine.” Luke finally answered, eyes low and dark tucked under his hood. He turned away from her and started to make his way down the steps. Her forehead creased in confusion. Rey followed after him tentatively.

“Please, Master Skywalker, I - we, the Resistance need you.” Nothing. “The First Order is growing stronger every day and we are doing everything we can to continue rebelling against them, but they gain numbers and firepower at a much faster rate than us. We’re scared they’re planning something big, something awful.”

Her words bounced off him like they held no weight, they meant nothing to him. He didn’t so much as spare a glance or nod to her.

Maybe this was a mistake.

Suddenly, Luke turned off the stony path about half-way to stride towards some tiny huts that Rey had not seen on her ascent. He entered one of the larger structures, opening the metal door, and for a second Rey was quite concerned he was going to straight up slam the door in her face and lock her out.

Instead, he held the door open and inclined his head. It seemed this was about as close to an invitation she was going to get, so she stepped inside and braced herself for whatever would come next.

The small stone cylinder was practically barren, except for a modest bed, a small bench that surrounded the perimeter, a table and a fire burning steadily in the centre. Luke sat down on the bed and shrugged off his cloak. He interlocked his fingers - one hand, Rey noticed, was composed of thin metal parts engineered to act like a hand. There must be a story there.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Rey. I’m here to take you back to the Resistance, we need your help. Leia, your sister, sent me here to bring you your lightsaber and take you back so you can help us defeat the First Order.” A pause, then, “We can’t do it without you.”

“I didn’t ask why you were here, Rey.” There was a faint crinkle next to his eyes and a slight smirk on his face now. “Though it is interesting, that all of what you said is a lie.”

Her expression changed to one of shock. She opened her mouth to rebuff the accusation.

“What? No, it’s the truth, I swear. Why would I lie?”

“I believe you believe that it is the truth, but that does not mean it is true. Truth is a bit of a perception. Two people can experience something and when they come to describe their accounts of the event, the same thing, they can tell two different stories. That does not make one a lie. Do you understand?”

When she didn’t say anything, he continued. “Firstly, if there’s one thing my sister knows about me, it is that I am stubborn and I would not return until I know I need to, and I am ready. Secondly, that lightsaber is no longer mine. It stopped being mine the moment you touched it. It has a new master now. I think Leia would have known that, she may not be a Jedi, and she may have told you to take it to me, but I’m sure she would have sensed it no longer calls to me.”

Rey took in his words with a hesitant silence. She considered the lightsaber again, how it felt in her hand. Like an extension of herself. A matching energy that seemed to resonate deep within her.

“Tell me Rey. What do you know of the Force?”

Not much, she scoffed internally, that’s why I’m here. Yet she still considered his question as she paced around the edge of the hut in unhurried steps.

“It’s a power that the Jedi have which enables them to manipulate people and...things.” Even she wasn’t convinced by her words, but that was all she understood of this mysterious entity that she had suddenly been exposed to.

Just days ago, she thought the Force was a myth, that there was no such thing as the Jedi - they were just stories told to pass the time in the long, quiet nights of the Jakku desert. In Unkar Plutt’s junkyard, everyone wondered what it would be like to leave, Rey included, but they seldom did. There were not many more places to go nearby.

So the young ones would sit together and scrub various parts scavenged from the Destroyer, looking up at the stars, as they listened to the magical stories of the Jedi. And they imagined what it would be like to be anywhere but there, to have such power and freedom.

Of course, she had heard the name Luke Skywalker. Few in the galaxy had not. But that did not mean she believed he was real, anything more than a fable passed down the generations. The name had always felt like a foreign phrase on her tongue, as though the words were alien altogether.

The legend in the flesh raised his brow in an amused yet mocking way.

Suddenly, Rey became acutely aware of how sheltered and isolated and ignorant her life was on Jakku, and she felt her face redden with shame.

“Wrong.” Luke stated plainly. “The Force is not a power, it is energy. It lives in every being, every object in the entire galaxy. It is what keeps all matter linked together. It destroys and it gives life, it fills the space between light and dark.”

The fire continued to burn dependably between them, the crackles filling the space between Luke’s words. Tiny sparks rise in wide snaking motions.

Luke resumed his instruction. “The Jedi Order chose to use the Light Side of the Force to maintain balance in the universe, but that does not mean it belongs to the Jedi - a sentiment often ignored, consciously or not.”

He stared at this girl with an intense interest. He could sense her affinity for the Force as clear as he could see her, standing in his little hut with so many questions in her eyes and longing in her heart. The energy in her was new and buzzing, she obviously had only recently awoken to the Force, and it was no longer dormant. It would need tuning, but she had the spirit of a Jedi.

“You have a lot to learn, but with time, I see your potential, Rey. I sense a great strength in you and an even stronger connection to the Force. You just need a teacher.”

His words echoed in her mind. The words were all too similar to the ones that had been proposed to her in the inky black shadows of the forest on Starkiller Base.

The voice that entered her mind was not a welcome one and it was not Luke’s. It was deep and desperate. ‘You need a teacher. I can show you the ways of the Force.’ That’s what he had said. Kylo Ren.

He’d lived up to every horrible rumour she’d heard. Though no one on Jakku had ever seen him in person before, he was well-known throughout the galaxy for his unpredictable temper and unmatched swordsmanship. Just like the cross-guard blade he wielded, he had been shaped into a weapon used to destroy and kill. A tall, dark figure cloaked in black with just a black a heart to match it. A monster.

Images of their fight danced across her mind, fluid strokes of red and blue light painted across a background of black and white. Anger, pain, fear, awe. She pictured the face of her enemy illuminated in a faint purple glow as the colours of their sabers bled together.

Hate was not a common sensation for Rey, but she knew she felt hatred and contempt for Kylo. It was more overpowering than her fear for him, and so it was easier to focus on her desire to bring him and the First Order down.

But she couldn’t do it alone, she knew that, so she brought herself back to Ach-To, back to the green covered mounts, back to the metamorphic ocean; back to where Luke had started to chew on pieces of cooked fish if she had to guess.

“Will you teach me?” She prayed to whatever gods there were that it did not sound as desperate out loud as it did in her head.

He didn’t answer the question immediately, instead he continued to chew noiselessly on small pieces of fish. Rey felt more awkward than ever standing over him now, as he perched on his small bed. Her hands clenched in an attempt to stop the anxious tremors vibrating through her.

She wished she could take it back, but the words had already been spoken. The rocky walls of the hut, suddenly closing in.

Why would he teach you? You’re no one, she thought.

“Do you believe in fate, Rey? Destiny?” Well, it wasn’t quite how she expected to be rejected but it was a clear evasion to her.

“Um, I’ve never really thought about it.” Lie. She had. Many times. She didn’t like the idea that she was destined to be left alone on a planet, abandoned by her own parents, her own flesh and blood. It would be cruel and twisted if that were true. What higher powers would orchestrate such loneliness, such fear?

Then, she thought of how she got here, to this very moment. Meeting Finn and BB-8, running from the First Order and joining the Resistance, escaping on the Millenium Falcon which brought her straight to Han Solo, finding Luke’s lightsaber hidden in the deepest rooms of Maz’s palace. Was that fate?

“Well, I do. You’re here for a reason, Rey. It’s no coincidence that you were the one who found me, on this planet of all places and at this time. If you had found me even days earlier, I wouldn’t be saying what it is I’m about to say.” Slowly, he stood. “But I spoke with...an old friend shall we say, who convinced me that it’s my duty to pass on the knowledge of the Jedi, to continue teaching the next generation.”

Her hand tightened on the lightsaber, a faint yet palpable energy oscillating between the two of them now.

“Are you- are you saying you’ll do it? You’ll teach me?”

“Lucky for you kid, this old man still has a few lessons left in him.” Luke smiled.

At those words, a sensation fairly foreign to her became aflame. A spark of hope. It was like a warm hand interlocking with hers, guiding and steady, pulling her into a new life. For a split-second she felt the sharp dagger of doubt pierce her hope. Could she really abandon everything? What if, contrary to what Maz had remarked on Takondana, her parents were alive, and they returned for her only to find she had left? Was she really cut out to be a Jedi?

But then, deep down, was the idea that she possessed something far greater than her wildest dreams, only now was she finally perceiving what this dormant power could be. Perhaps she would finally feel like she was a part of something, not just a scavenger struggling to feed herself in an empty desert, alone.

“So, how about it, Rey? Fancy becoming a Jedi?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Luke handed her a small grey blanket and offered her one of the huts. They would stay the night and return back to the Resistance in the morning. Apparently, there was also something that he wished to show Rey.

She wrapped the small piece of cloth around her and lay on the small cot in her hut. To some it may have been uncomfortable or cold, but having lived on Jakku and slept in an old AT-AT, Rey was more than used to less than ideal sleeping conditions. Back then, she slept on a hard metal cot she had fashioned from the wreckage. With every scratch she made on the rusted interior of the old transport, her legs would grow until she had to curl her knees up to her chest in order to fit.

A heavy darkness fell over the island as the sun set over the turbulent waves, their low-pitched cries becoming quieter and quieter as her eyes drifted closed.

That night she dreamt of another cloaked figure, but she could tell this was not Luke. This one was cloaked in a black so dark it seemed to absorb any light around it. Rey was an unwilling witness, paralysed in this nightmare, unable to move or say anything. She felt her heart pace in the presence of this thing, a cold unfeeling power emanating from their position. A hood barred her view to the face of this monster and somehow that made it worse, the fear of the unknown. They stood still, body turned away from her; her eyes flitted past the figure suddenly distracted by new movement. A small group of some species she did not recognise ran into the path in front, immediately stopping when they got close to the figure, fear and anguish radiating off their small trembling bodies.

Silence was abruptly punctuated by the distinctive hum of the ignition of a lightsaber. The blade was a deep crimson red, throbbing with its pulsing light. The phantom figure leapt forward with the shining red blade aimed forward and started to attack the creatures with sweeping motions. The movements echoed those of a dance with the way the arms arched and waved, until all Rey could see was fluid, bright streaks of red. Bodies fell one by one in a choreographed sequence, the lead waltzing from one shadow to another, severed limbs and scorching bodies falling in a fatal rhythm. As the final act came to a close, Rey took in the carnage around her. It was haunting. It was beautiful.

What had she just seen? Her hands trembled, causing her to look down, to steady the tremors. Instead, she saw a horrifying image. That same lightsaber with the red burning blade still ignited now held between her fingers, and blood, to match the colour of the instrument in her hand. Small droplets fell to the muddy floor near her feet.

A cry escaped her throat, and she felt her grip loosen on the metal cylinder and with that, she woke up. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a black silhouette ominously standing just past her peripheral vision, but when she turned her head, they were gone.

The morning sun cast long shadows across the hut; a hazy light dulled by low clouds on the horizon surrounding the island. She took a brief pause to revel in the peace and tranquility, a stark contradiction to the chaos of her nightmare. Now awake, her inner clock refused to let her go back to sleep - she never had that luxury on Jakku.

Rey stood from the small cot and grabbed her cloak and Luke’s lightsaber, determined to leave as soon as she could, not wanting to let the Resistance down. She felt she had something to prove. To Finn. To Leia. To Luke. To herself. She just wasn’t sure what.

She opened the large metal door and headed out, passing by the slightly larger hut which belonged to Luke. The door was still closed, so she did not want to disturb him. Looking around the rocky landscape, she thought she could look around and wait for Luke to wake.

Without an entirely good sense of what she was looking for, she headed up and round a steep path, one she had not seen yesterday. At one point the steps had obviously been carved out of the jagged rock face and all that was left was a very thin track, just wide enough for her feet to step one in front of the other. She placed her hands against the cool cliff to steady her body weight as a gust of wind drafted past her, but luckily, her years of climbing star destroyer wreckage had made her nimble and quick, and she skipped up the last few steps.

A giant tree with thick winding branches stood at the centre of an opening, clouded by heavy fog. Rey could sense an ancient, primal power lurking here; she slowed down, taking a more revenant pace, not wanting her noise or movement to disturb anything that could be residing nearby. A small doorway had been carved into the tree stump, leading inside to darkness.

Cautiously, she made her way inside the gloomy orifice. Within the cavernous opening, on the far side of the hollowed out wood, was a single carved shelf, housing a small library of old, withered-looking books. Her fingers drifted slowly over the dusty spines, tracing the strange symbols of a language she had never seen before yet somehow they spoke to her and she knew they held the stories and tales of the Jedi written on the dry pages, a grand history, an entire millennia of narratives all woven together. The ink fading on the parchment just as much as the Jedi order was fading from the galaxy.

Perhaps Master Luke would translate them to her. She’d always struggled with reading anyway, books were rare enough on Jakku and any spare time she had was spent trying to earn enough portions to survive.

As her thoughts drifted to Luke, she decided she needed to find where he was. Time was not on their side and they would need to head for the Resistance soon if they were to stop Kylo Ren and the rest of the First Order.

Back at the small village, Luke seemed to be waiting for her.

“I see you found the sacred Jedi texts. Some of the most important artefacts in the universe. It almost seems a shame to keep them here on an island, isolated and far from anyone to be useful.”

“They seem incredibly old and worn, it’s impressive they are still here.” Rey responded.

Luke chuckled, “Like me.” A smile made its way onto her face at that. He started walking away and she knew he expected her to follow. “Not the most thrilling reads too I might add but each contains valuable lessons, passed on through the generations. I remember when I first started to read them wondering how they could give so little with so many words. Until I realised that they are not there as a tutorial or instructions - that is the role of the Jedi Master. No, to each Jedi the words will mean something slightly different and thus they can pave their own path, not fall in the steps of others.”

If there is one thing Rey had realised about the Jedi it was that they seemed to revel in being quite cryptic - or perhaps it was just Luke. She wanted answers, plain and simple. Were her parents alive? Why did they leave? How were they going to defeat the First Order? What was her part in all this?

“C’mon, I have something to show you before we leave.” Interrupting her internal monologue, Luke beckoned her forwards, urging her to follow.

They climbed up hundreds of steps to the highest altitude on the island and made their way inside a temple carved into the rock face. In the centre of the grand structure was a wide shallow pool with a mosaic beneath the water. A figure sat in a meditative pose, legs crossed, lightsaber held up in front of them, splitting the picture in perfect symmetry. One side white, one side black. She supposed it was to symbolise the balance of the light and dark sides of the Force. Looking up, she saw Luke standing outside facing towards the wide horizon, pensive and still as always.

“One can’t help but be reflective here. The original Jedi temple where we stand was built deliberately at the centre of the island. Balance. That’s what the Jedi order has always vowed to maintain. You can sense it when you stand here.” He sat on a large rock close to the end of the ledge. “Come and sit.”, he said.

Rey made her way to the rock and sat with her legs crossed, mirroring what her new tutor was doing. Luke settled into the position as if he had done it countless times before and it was entirely muscle memory. He closed his eyes and breathed in.

“You can see the entire island from here. Life, death, light, dark - they all coexist.”

Confusion caused her brow to crease. She didn’t understand how he could talk about seeing things without opening his eyes. Maybe being alone on a remote island had caused this great mind to go insane.

“You don’t need eyes to see Rey.” With one eye open he read her mind and stared at her with something akin to amusement. “Now, place your hands on the rock, really ground yourself into it and use your feelings to see, reach out to the surroundings.”

The notion that he could read her mind was slightly off-putting but not surprising to say the least, so she listened to what he said and copied him, her eyes shutting and palms open to the rock either side of her. She felt her mind go quiet and she opened her senses to the elements around her.

A flurry of images flashed in her mind: lush green grasses covered the damp ground of the island, bones and dead creatures decayed many layers beneath the grass feeding new life. Where water crashed against one side of the cliffs violently, on the other side it was calm and remained still in isolated pools. She saw the cycles of the suns and moons, chasing each other and creating shadows that stretched out as they each arched between dawn, dusk and twilight. It was overwhelming and dizzying for her to have all her senses attacked simultaneously.

“Very good, Rey. Picture it, feel it. The energy that lives between it all - invisible but powerful. That’s it, that’s the Force.”

As she took it all in, she could have sworn that the visions become clearer: silhouettes became sharper and colours became more vibrant. Each image seemed to connect to another in one fluid apparition. Her muscles were completely relaxed and she felt at peace.

“The Force”, she whispered, a great wave of relief swept through her. Her worries about not being Force-sensitive left, leaving only a renowned feeling of connection and power. “I’ve never felt anything like this.”

“Focus on the light now. That is what the Jedi vow to protect at all costs.” She put all her attention on the warm, bright essence of the Force and she succumbed to the feeling entirely, letting it illuminate her inside and out. A sole moment of tranquility, so different to the past few weeks since meeting Finn and BB-8.

The memory of her friends reminded her of what she came here to protect, to achieve - bringing Luke Skywalker back with her. That light was being threatened by the growing darkness. She stood, suddenly feeling ashamed and frustrated. Her friends were somewhere out there fighting the First Order, putting themselves in danger for the benefit of others, and here she was sitting on rocks meditating.

“I didn’t come here to sit around on rocks and just do nothing. I want to be a Jedi, I do, and more than anything, I want you to teach me but right now, the needs of others supersede my own and I cannot fail on this mission. We need the Jedi to help us fight and protect the Resistance. Now more than ever. Kylo Ren grows more powerful every day and soon there won’t be enough of us to fight him or the First Order.”

Luke hadn’t moved yet but he had opened his eyes to watch her.

“Please, I need you to help me fight them.”, she implored.

He considered her, this girl who was obviously becoming impatient. Emotions eddied in her mind. He’d have to teach her how to equilibrate her feelings, feeling too much of anything was dangerous for a Jedi.

“Well your first lesson then: The Jedi are not warriors or soldiers. If that is what you want to learn, you are better off learning from the many generals and captains in the Resistance.” Rey was not impressed.

“Well then why do they wield lightsabers?” If he was going to be arrant in his lessons then she would be too.

Ignoring her tone, Luke replied, “Because they are guardians of peace, and some circumstances do allow us to use the blade to protect ourselves or others in defence.”

Rey tried not to feel too agitated or dejected but perhaps this mission was a mistake. She would return to Leia without her brother, without hope, and they would have to find another way. She retreated back into the heart of the temple and heard soft footsteps follow suit.

“I fear becoming a Jedi may not be everything you think it will be. You must consider why you are doing this and most importantly understand it will paint a target on your back.”

“I already have a target on my back, I may as well use it to my advantage and be ready to fight.”

Luke paced inside the temple and sat on the stone circle enclosing the mosaic. “What do the First Order want with you? Who are you?”

She shook her head, the words not quite forming in her mouth. “I’m not sure, I’m no-one from nowhere.”

Luke didn’t believe her, there was more to the story here. But he didn’t say anything. Her story would come with time. He looked at her with his blue eyes and saw a lot of himself in her - or rather, who he used to be, a lifetime ago. Once upon a time, there’d been a young, naive soul stuck in a desert yearning for something bigger, something more.

“No one’s from nowhere. Where are you really from?”

“Jakku.” He noticed she almost flinched in embarrassment at that.

Chuckling lightly, he agreed with her that Jakku is pretty much nowhere. Even at his joking air, she remained stiff and aloof, offering no more information on herself. Instead, he asked about why she wanted to train to be a Jedi, why she needed the legendary Luke Skywalker.

A few seconds went by before she answered. “Because I need someone to show me my place in all this.” She wasn’t sure what the correct answer was. She knew most would say they wanted to help, and that was true. But there was something else. And she knew he could read her thoughts, so she couldn’t lie.

He went silent again as he began to reflect on his own journey here. He’d always had such a clear path forward, felt aided by the Force, and knew his purpose was to continue the legacy of the Jedi. “I came here looking for the old Jedi texts. I need them to help teach the new generation of Jedi. That’s why you’re here.”

“You mean...it’s not just me who you are going to teach?”

He shook his head. This had been his greatest secret over the last decade or so, a secret he would willingly give his life for. For years he had lived in the shadows in order to escape the grip of the First Order as they terrorised the galaxy. Many thought he had run away, either in fear or in shame after what happened with Ben. Some had even suggested he was dead. That rumour was likely spread by his enemy to snuff him from the narrative - you can’t be saved by a hero if they’re dead. And so he had used it to his advantage. If the First Order wanted him to cease from existence, he would, and so he became a legend.

“As the First Order became more powerful, those who are Force sensitive became more and more at risk. The Order targeted them specifically, seeking them out as a plague that needs to be removed. They feared them, feared me. They still do.”

The man became more despondent when he spoke his next words, “At first, I was just helping them escape certain death, I owed them that after what happened...last time. I knew it was my duty to try to restore and protect the Jedi religion and it’s children. I’m not the galaxy’s hope, not anymore. They are. And so are you.”

The words hung heavy between them, weighted by sorrow and despair. Rey blinked, and she debated whether or not to not ask the question she might not get an answer to. She hadn’t known Luke Skywalker for very long - what had it been, a few hours really? But almost unconsciously the question escaped. ‘Last time’. Rey knew that he must be referring to Han and Leia’s son. She needed to know what happened to cause him to turn to the dark side. To her surprise, he granted her request and began to tell her the origin for Kylo Ren.

* * *

_Ben Solo was a student at Luke’s academy, in fact he was probably the best student at the academy. Ben was able to pick up new things with unchallenged ease, dedicating most of his time and energy to learning everything he could from his uncle about his powers and the Force and the Jedi. After being exiled in his eyes to a planet far from home and his parents, he joined with a stain on his heart already, turning to books and training instead. From the day Ben stepped foot on the planet, Luke could sense something different about his nephew and it fills him with shame to think that instead of trying to help, he only caused a greater wedge between Ben and the light. But back then, it was not darkness or evil which plagued Ben, it hadn’t quite evolved to the harsh, consuming blackness of Kylo Ren yet._

_Over the years at the academy, Ben became more alienated from the rest of the students and depending on who you ask, each could give a different reason why. All that mattered to Luke was that it became clear that there was a threat among them, a powerful and formidable presence which coalesced with Ben. During training, Ben was more violent than normal, overwhelming several other Padwans to the extent that one received serious, life threatening injuries. A ferocity of such fervour had leached into Ben’s eye’s. Gone was the young boy who had held his head low when he was dropped here; the one who had great power yes but unlike many, had such a keen interest in the history and teachings of the Jedi; the one who kept a calligraphy set by his bed; the one who so desperately wanted to master the skills of a Jedi, clinging for control and guidance and purpose._

_One fateful night, Luke made his way into Ben’s hut with no more intention than to get further insight into his nephew’s mind…even if it was while the other was sleeping. Beneath him, a motionless form lay deep in slumber that he did not wake or move when Luke entered or when he held out his hand. It was far worse than he could have imagined. Pain, suffering, chaos. That’s what he saw. Each scene was more awful than next, narrated by a grating, deep voice he came to realise was Snoke - an insidious remnant from the Empire, grasping for more power over the galaxy._

_But at the centre of every horrible event was his nephew caped in black wielding a crimson saber._

_Retreating slightly, Luke’s hand wavered, revealing Ben looking up and before Luke had the chance to explain their lightsabers were clashing together and rocks tumbled down over them and with that came the downfall of everything Luke ever built or loved._

* * *

“I woke somehow after it all happened, buried beneath the rubble of a destroyed temple, ash still so heavy and warm in the air that I could barely see, I could taste it. It was all gone, all of it.” Memories washed over him like a thick oil on water, uncomfortable, unsettling, remaining at the surface no matter how hard he tried to forget.

“I searched with R2 for hours for any survivors but to no avail. Once again, I was alone. I thought he had killed them all but later learned that he had taken some of the brightest ones with him, what you’ll know as the Knights of Ren.” A deep sigh came from Luke.

“I thought, because of his blood, that mighty Skywalker lineage, that he would be the one, but in the end, he turned to the dark side, he let hatred and vengeance rule his thoughts.”

If it were possible, Rey would hate Kylo more purely for the fact that he had everything she had ever wanted: family, belonging. And he threw it all away to join Snoke and the First Order, and murdered his own friends, younglings too. Why? She didn’t understand.

She stood abruptly, squaring her shoulders and stared with attuned intent into his eyes. She wouldn’t let this be Luke’s legacy, she would prove herself a Jedi and defeat the First Order with the help of the galaxy’s greatest hero. There was too much at stake for her and her friends for failure to be an option.

“You can’t blame yourself for Kylo’s choice, he did that to himself. He, along with the rest of the First Order, will get what’s coming to them. He failed you - I won’t.” She said.

Luke stood too and told her it was time for them to return home. They returned to the camp to gather their things and prepare the Falcon to leave. As Rey grabbed supplies and checked the fuel, Luke took a moment to study her further. As much as she needed him (which admittedly may not even be a lot, he sensed she had great powers waiting to be released, albeit trained), perhaps he needed her too. Her drive and determination to overcome. He’d lost that over the years he thought, as guilt and shame weighed him down, but now maybe it was time for a new chapter in the story of the Jedi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Kylo Ren stood alone in his quarters of the Supremacy. He faced a long, wide window, staring out into the black abyss of space, empty except for a flurry of blinking stars scattered across the obsidian canvas. Empty and cold and dark. Traits all too familiar with the young apprentice, and while usually he could sometimes find a sort of peaceful solidarity when looking out, today it only amplified his tumultuous emotions. Gone was the unfeeling, ruthless soldier and in his place was a weak and foolish boy torn by his own actions and emotions. 

Kylo kept replaying the events over and over in his head, it tormented him. ‘Ben’ echoed in his mind, a name he had not heard in years, the name of someone who was dead and gone. There was not even a ghost of Ben Solo anymore. He may as well never have existed. Except, apparently to his father. He saw his father, the great Han Solo walking towards him, slow and cautious as if approaching a dangerous beast. He begged him to come home, told him what he only wanted to hear: that it wasn’t too late. But it was. Kylo Ren’s fate was decided long ago. Baptised by darkness, it was where he belonged. 

Closing his eyes, he saw his own hands clutch his lightsaber lifting it between the two men, a palpable tension between them too. Two headstrong forces engaging in a silent battle. There would only be one winner. As the dying star powering Starkiller Base was annulled behind Han and the light started to fade, they both became illuminated by a crimson lustre, there was only one choice Kylo saw. 

He remembered how easily the blade punctured the skin, quickly piercing through his father’s abdomen. The burning plasma of his blade temporarily cauterizes the wound to extend the moment where Han’s life hangs between this world and the next. It allowed for Han to reach up and trace his hand over his son’s cheek, using his remaining energy to reach out to him - not with words but with feeling. ‘Come home’ it said. No words or cries came from Han Solo and instead his body fell down into the pits of the engine room, leaving Kylo alone on the bridge to fully become aware of his actions. 

Lifting his head and once again opening his eyes, Kylo stared at his reflection in the window. His eyes studied the scar that bisected his face, placed over the exact spot where his father had stroked his cheek in his last moments, as if the motion had been etched into his skin, the memory stitched into the scar. Except the true perpetrator who had disfigured him was the girl, the scavenger. Another weakness. 

He should have been able to beat her in combat, she was untrained and let her emotions get the better of her. Yet there was something Kylo had sensed in her that he hadn’t quite realised until their battle together in the frosty plains and forest: an uncanny familiarity and sense of awe. He couldn’t place where it had originated. Perhaps after their first connection as he had interrogated her and she was able to get inside his head, despite his mental blocks. Or maybe when she called his uncle’s saber to her and it had rushed past his skull straight to her outstretched hand. 

Though she emanated light and virtue, he recognised something akin to a shadow in her mind. If moulded and directed as the Supreme Leader had done with him, she could be turned to the dark side, he was sure. At the thought of his master, he felt a heavy tugging in his mind and was commanded to attend to him straight away. 

Kylo made his way through the labyrinthian corridors of the Supremacy, trekking the long distance from his quarters to the hull of the gargantuan ship where Snoke resided. He barely paid attention to any people or his surroundings, passing by legions of troopers and officers who all seemed to scurry away from him or quickly occupy themselves. The Supreme Leader did not like to be kept waiting. 

Finally entering the expansive crimson throne room, he stepped forward to the tall, looming figure who sat in the centre of the room. He could see Snoke’s fingers tapping decidedly, an air of irritation and impatience permeating between them. Kylo didn’t dare to speak first if his master was in a mood - he’d learnt that the hard way. 

“I sense unease, boy.” Snoke leered. “Perhaps you’re having second thoughts about your act on Starkiller?”. The deep set wrinkles on Snoke’s face contracted more as he frowned down at the young apprentice who bowed down onto one knee. Kylo was grateful for all the lessons that the Supreme Leader gave him but it came with the heavy price of Snoke being able to read his mind, not quite his exact thoughts, but certainly feelings or intentions. He always had to remain conscious of his inner monologue. 

For a moment, Kylo didn’t say anything, he kept still, unwavering, stoic. The contours of his mask reflected the few lights surrounding him as he looked down at the slate grey floor, thankful the mask was covering his expression. It would not bode well for him for the Supreme Leader to see him like this. Torn. 

“I’ve given everything I have to you… to the Dark Side,” eventually Kylo managed to reply. He hated himself for the words as soon as they left his mouth. It reeked of desperation. 

“And yet it is not enough it seems. You think you can hide your feelings from me, young Solo? Your mind is mine,” he snickered, “you think that killing your father was a sacrifice, a way to prove to yourself that you truly are the mighty Kylo Ren when the reality could not be further from the truth.”

Standing now, Snoke towered over the crouching black figure beneath him, authority and anger radiating off him. In his peripheral vision, Kylo could see the edges of Snoke’s ochre silk robe as it skimmed the floor just in front of him. 

“No, instead it only proves to me how weak you are, thinking that this would assert your power or finally stop the light and the dark battling for dominance. A true warrior of the Sith would not have these doubts, they would revel in the act and the severing of such a bond.” 

Feeling more and more like he was being scolded by Snoke, like some petulant child, rather than his apprentice, he felt the tell-tale itch of his anger rising inside him, expedited by his own raw, turbulent emotions over his father. 

“You are just as weak as Han Solo. He was a criminal, a smuggler, he manipulated people for money. The First Order does not stand for that kind of disobedience, he is exactly the type of person who breeds chaos. What’s more he hated his own son, he feared you, he feared that power that you possess and yet you mourn him? He held you back and now you are free.”

‘I want to be free of this pain’. That’s what he had told his father. 

He certainly didn’t feel free. 

He shouldn’t feel anger towards the Supreme Leader for the words he spoke, Force knows he’d said similar things about Han over the years. But Kylo could help but feel offended at all the derogatory comments towards his now deceased patriarchal figure. Luckily, Kylo seemed to maintain some sense of restraint until Snoke decided to mention _her_. 

“You disappointed me, you allowed the Resistance to escape and destroy our weapon.” Snoke shouted down at him, each word pronounced with the hostile drawl that his master always used when criticising him. 

“You failed! You let your emotions control you, after all I have taught you, you were bested by a girl who never held a lightsaber. After what happened before, I thought you would have recognised your mistakes - you let her escape, unscathed, not once but twice now,” Snoke seethed, “a mere scavenger girl, a nobody-”

Without thinking, Kylo stood abruptly from his kneeling position. The Praetorian Guard drew their swords, they moved into battle-ready positions; he saw their bright armour glint in the dim light and they angled themselves in just the right way, so that if Kylo attached Snoke, he would barely make it four feet ahead. 

Snoke’s small eyes took him in then, curious but still disappointed. Silence drew out a sense of unease. Turning then, Snoke retreated to his tall throne, sitting down, clearly ready to end their conversation here. And so Kylo was dismissed with instructions to train until he was either bleeding or unconscious. 

Kylo stalked over to his private training room, clenching his fists all the way. His breath was coming out in such rapid pants that his mask was getting fogged up. He was attacked by images of his father, the light saber aimed at his chest in his hand, the traitor FN-2187, proof of the failure of his own stormtrooper program. And the girl. He saw her, towering over him as he lay wounded in the snow, wielding his uncle’s lightsaber with a fierce gaze. 

Snoke was right: he had been weak and he deserved to be punished for it. There was more power in the Dark Side, it gave extraordinary abilities, it tethered him to control over himself and others. The more pain or anger he felt, the more powerful he could be. It was all part of Snoke’s training. The Supreme Leader always made a point to highlight the weaknesses of the Jedi, how Kylo would lose everything that made him a great warrior if he ever decided to return. 

He could not go back to the Light Side, even if he wanted to - which he did not not. He’d only known struggle and manipulation and lies when he was with his parents. He’d been promised that under the tutelage of his uncle, the great Luke Skywalker, he would find answers to his questions, that he would be able to reign in his power. An easy way for the others to watch him, to temper him, limit his transgressions. 

At nights, when he is alone in his empty quarters, safe with the knowledge that Snoke along with most of the Supremacy are sleeping, he can his mind wander temporarily. He knows he can when the only sound is the distinct hum of the large almost-living ship, loud enough to drown the voices in his head. He thinks back to the myriad of moments in the past that led to here. 

He’d always toed the line between light and dark, never really belonging on either side. Too angry, unforgiving and violent for the light, too emotional, vulnerable and quiet for the dark. He thought he had tried to be good, to embrace the purity of the white light but it rejected him as much as he rejected it. He would reach for it and would get burned. And then the voice of his grandfather told him he would find strength in the dark. But at least that voice was honest with its anger and its hatred. 

But at the heart of it all, the missing piece in the jumbled puzzle of his life had been control. He craved it. Control over his power, his choices, his whole self. Growing up surrounded by people just expecting certain things from him based on his parents just added to his resentment and lack of identity: ‘ _oh he’ll be such a good pilot, better than his father perhaps’, ‘maybe he’ll go into politics, follow in his mother’s footsteps_ ’, then there had been the less pleasant ones ‘ _he’s too volatile, too much Vader in him_ ’. 

In a funny way, they were technically all right. Now, he chose his identity, he became Kylo Ren and with that gained control over the First Order and by default, the galaxy. 

Fighting was his way of maintaining control. Even though Snoke had ordered him to this room anyway, he would have come here to work through his aggression. It was both ritualistic and instinctive, a way to perfect his battle technique. But he found beauty in the violence too. 

Usually, Kylo gathered various weapons and tools to train with but today he just wanted to focus on his saber skills, determined that when he next saw the scavenger girl, he would either kill her or bring her over to the Dark Side. He removed his helmet and his cape, setting them down on a nearby bench, then proceeded into the centre of the room to begin his exercises.

He completely lost himself to the motions and turns of his training, his red lightsaber fluorescing brightly as it swooped around him. The blade looked fluid, undulating, as Kylo slashed into invisible enemies, cutting them in half, then turning, rotating the black cylinder of the saber’s metallic hilt to stab into nothing behind him. 

He pushed himself extra hard today, until his muscles burned as though he had been dipped in molten lava. He even felt some of his older wounds stretch and reopen, some probably even started to bleed. The blood was still pumping violently in his veins, ricocheting loudly in his skull like an incessant drum. Only once he had completely drained all his energy, did he stop. 

Back in his bedroom, Kylo was too tired to inspect his wounds, he barely had any energy to think. Hopefully, he would sleep a dreamless slumber tonight and not be plagued with his normal nightmares or the voices that disturbed his sleep. They invaded him regularly when he was unconscious, but less so after training, when his body would shut down quicker in order to recover. 

Perhaps that is why he didn’t notice the other person in his room, sitting across from him. Or maybe he didn’t have the energy left in him to keep his mind from drifting to a certain someone, or keeping his mental barriers up. Because there she was. The scavenger. Sitting cross-legged on the floor of his room, barely an arms length away. 

Rey. 

* * *

After loading the few belongings that Luke had onto the fountain and checking all the fuel supplies and engines, Rey decided to sit and meditate. Luke was inside the Falcon already, chatting softly with Chewie and R2, his voice the most cheerful she’d heard in all her time with him. She didn’t want to ruin the moment. And anyway, she felt a strange desire to just take a brief moment alone before their trip home. 

It was probably the island. It had such an air of tranquility and because of the Jedi temple, the Force aggregated here with a tangible intensity. She wanted to make the most of this before she left. The grass was cold and damp beneath her as she sat down on the ground and crossed her legs in front of her, but she enjoyed the sensation, it felt grounding. Gently, her fingers reached to trace the short blades of grass on either side of her body. Her eyes closed and a soft exhale left her mouth as she succumbed to the reverie. 

Perhaps she was doing it wrong or she was too nervous or preoccupied with planning her trip back to the Resistance, but she couldn’t focus. She felt the Force around her, it hummed deep in her core so she knew that she was at least doing something right but for all her efforts, she couldn’t seem to tap into it as she had been able to with Luke. It was like trying to open a door with the wrong key. 

‘You’re so weak, just a scavenger girl. Is that all you’ve got?’ scoffed an inner voice. A voice that seemed to share a stark similarity with her sworn enemy. It was bad enough to have her own voice doubt herself but to have him too, just perfect. She could almost imagine his laughter, snickering at her utter ineptitude. Strings of criticism leached into her mind in that frustratingly deep timbre of his. 

Well, it was clear she wasn’t going to get any clarity from this exercise. Opening her eyes, she stared up and was greeted by the dark brown eyes of Kylo Ren. 

She was going mad. Or was this a vision? Neither one of them moved, they barely breathed. All sound seemed to have muted around them, except for her now rapid heartbeat pumping quickly in her chest, her blood rushing through her veins, muscles tensed and ready to move...to run. 

“What is this?” he said. His voice was so low she almost would have missed it. “You can’t be here, this can’t be you.” Somehow he managed to sound both stricken and indignant at once. 

Rey didn’t think that she was responsible for this...whatever the Force this was, but the way he outright denied her involvement with her irritated her more than realised. 

“Murderous snake.” she spat. Subtle Rey, she thought after. 

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly at that. His gaze was so intense, she felt frozen in place, held by some unknown force. Now she was this close to him she could see the splatter of moles on his face, the same face that boasted the jagged scar that ran down from his brow beneath the neckline of his black tunic. The one she had given him. 

Rey realised then that he was not wearing his usual attire and was not hiding behind his usual mask and cloak. Perhaps that’s what had given her the confidence before to speak out at him. He wasn’t in his usual costume which was designed specifically to intimidate. 

The absence of this reminded her of when he had first taken his mask off back in the interrogation room. She was reminded of the feeling of shock and disbelief when he had first removed the helmet for her. She had expected a disfigured creature, images of ugly, gargoyle-like faces baring their teeth at her, or at least someone older, a face that had been aged by war and horror. 

So when he pulled the item from his head and she saw the face of someone young, older than her for certain but only by a few years she would guess, she visibly recoiled. This was the man who had tortured and killed people? 

In her years on Jakku she had never felt attraction to anyone, never looked twice at any stranger’s face and she had seen many different beings pass through Niima outpost. She wasn’t sure if such a thing as a universally conventional idea of beauty in the galaxy, doubtful given the vast numbers of species and planets that there were, but if such a thing existed, his would be the face that was recorded. It was beautiful in the same way that one would call fire beautiful despite knowing it was also dangerous. It drew you in, tempting all the same, intense and burning. 

“I can’t see your surroundings, can you see mine?” The question broke the spell. She couldn’t believe his nerve, asking her a question as if she would help him of all people, or they conversed normally without wanting to kill each other. There was no hostility in his gaze and Rey didn’t quite know what to do with herself, it would have been easier to attack him or just ignore him if he didn’t have that look on his face. Wide eyes, curious and attentive, taking in all of her, in body and mind, trying to solve a puzzle with no pieces, or read a map with no names. 

He looked around her trying to make out the landscape around her, as if staring into the empty space would reveal her location by sheer will. This brought a sudden onslaught of panic to her as she thought of where she was and more importantly who with. 

This entire island was a secret, she couldn’t risk exposing this to Kylo and the First Order. Their fighter jets and bombers would be here in mere minutes if he worked out their location, jetting across the horizon in their offensive formation - a blur of black against the pale grey, blue hues of the sea and sky of Ach-To. 

She jumped up from her spot on the ground to stand on her feet. Her hand itched to grab her saber or even a blaster, but she tried not to appear too alarmed when she remembered that she had already put them onboard the Millennium Falcon. 

As if reading her mind, she heard Kylo state “you’re with Luke.” It wasn’t a question, he said it as a fact, his voice still unsettlingly calm. When she said nothing again, he seemed quite happy to fill their blank pauses with his own speech, “That’s ok. You don’t need to say anything, but I know. I can sense him nearby. He can’t protect you. It doesn’t matter where you are or who you’re with Rey, I’ll be able to find you.”

She was taken aback by her name on his lips. He said it so casually, like he’d said it a million times before. And indeed, he had in his own way. It was the name that haunted his dreams; when he woke his lips were already parted in the shape of her name. Her frown softened slightly yet still she stood poised and on edge, even though they both knew that if either one of them was going to attach they would have done so by now. 

In a feeble effort to regain some control of their conversations, Rey decided she would bring up what Luke had divulged to her. At least then they could return to their preordained characters: she, the Resistance hero determined to do anything to bring back hope to the galaxy, and he, to the monster in a mask. Ironically, she would feel more safe with those roles than what she was experiencing here. 

“He told me what happened that night. What you did.” She knew he understood her meaning when his eyes suddenly glazed over, cold and steely. Instead of retreating or backing off as she had initially hoped, Kylo sauntered into her space, his broad torso coming very close to hers so she could see his chest rise and fall. She now had to raise her chin to be able to look at him in the eyes. 

“You know nothing.” he mumbled.

“I know enough.” she spat, hate dripping with each syllable. 

He didn’t seem convinced. “You do?” He asked, probing her mind, she could feel him trying to break through her mental barriers with unfortunately for her, some success, then followed shortly with another low response. “Oh you do.” The words were drawn out in a semi-mocking tone as he came to the realisation of just what she knew. 

“You think I’m a monster?”

“You are a monster.”

“Yes I am.” 

With one more step, he moved towards her again. His breath tickled her cheeks, the soft hairs that traced her forehead waved with the motion, so gently that she would not have noticed if her skin was not tingling with energy, every nerve point in her body connected and sensitive to any change or extremity. 

Too floored by the realisation that she could feel his breath from across the galaxy through this bond, she didn’t see Luke trail towards her, descending the hanger ramp of the Falcon, moving towards her. It was only when he called her name gently and Kylo’s eyes darted behind her, that she turned with such speed to reach out her hand and yell ‘stop!’. 

Luke halts in his stride, clearly oblivious to what was occurring just before him. He saw Rey twist in his direction, eyes wide in fear, her small hand held out in effort to keep him away from some danger but as he stared down at her standing alone, shadows creeping down her face as the sun began to set, he couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He could only sense her heightened emotions. 

Rey whipped around again to face down Kylo Ren, determined to make sure he did not harm his uncle but found the spot where he had stood was now empty. The island remained still, unharmed, completely unchanged. Safe. 

“What’s that all about?” Luke called down at her. 

She shook her head, muttering that it was nothing. Glancing round once more, almost expecting to see a dark figure hunched behind a corner or tall rock, she resigned that he was gone for now at least. 

“C’mon,” Luke beckoned, “Chewie says he’s eager to leave before any more porgs start to nest in the Falcon.” A small smile lit up his face, putting Rey more at ease as she bounded up the ramp and inside the ship. 

The three of them (along with a whole family of porgs) set off on their journey through the dark oblivion of space, bright white light flowing past in smooth streaks in the tell-tale view of lightspeed. Putting autopilot on, Rey retreated to the back of the ship. She passed Luke and Chewie playing Dejarik rather animatedly, both complaining that someone was cheating. 

Rey decided she would try to get some rest before they reached the Resistance, Force knew she needed it. She gathered a rogue blanket that was slung on a nearby chair and headed to one of the small bunks hidden away. 

The bedrooms on the Falcon were cramped and cold but Rey found herself feeling more at home here than she had in her AT-AT on Jakku. The beige walls held various mementos of it’s true owner, small handwritten notes of names scribbled down and taped to the walls. Some had numbers next to them too - undoubtedly for how much money Han owed to this individual. Blasters and bootlegged liquor littered the floor of the room. 

Just as she was about to settle down, she felt a tug in her mind. A growing sense of dread spread throughout her as she realised what was about to occur. 

If anyone had asked her to describe the sensation of this new bond, the only likeliness she could come up with would be it was like a shift in gravity. A seismic shift in her position in the universe, she hadn’t moved but she felt unbalanced and yet rooted. And at the centre of this new gravitational pull was Kylo Ren. 

So it hadn’t been some rare fluke then. Whatever this was, the new connection that seemed to bridge their minds, it was not a one-time thing. She really didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with this right now, exhaustion taking over her body. 

“Get out.” Her remark seemed to only draw out a short snigger from Kylo. 

“I would if I could. Believe me.” The look he gave made her believe him. It seemed he wasn’t too happy about this new development either. That made two of them. Maybe this would mean he would help sever this bond then. But that was a thought for another day. 

Not bothering to add another response she huffed and stormed off towards the hub of the ship passing by Luke and Chewie. The former stands from his seat with a look of trepidation that makes her stall. 

“Everything ok, Rey?” he enquires. She faintly nods, wanting to be away from Luke just in case he could sense something. She could just use the excuse of fixing something, there was always something that needed tending to on this pile of junk. And then Luke confirms her worst fear. 

“I thought I felt...Ben.” Hearing that name instead of Kylo Ren makes her heart pinch sharply. She tried to come up with an explanation but all words seemed to have leaked from her mind, she stood frozen in place unable to say anything let alone move. 

When Rey didn’t say anything, Luke cleared his throat, rubbing his neck awkwardly. “Probably just his Echo. It’s a type of marker that someone who is Force sensitive leaves behind when they touch or interact with something. I just felt it quite strongly all of a sudden.” She couldn’t look at his eyes, lest he could read the truth from her own. 

“I guess it makes sense given that he spent so many years here.” Ghosts of the past presented themselves before Luke, as he sighed, “Han’s all over this joint too of course.” His voice was pained, laced with sorrow over forgotten memories and ones that would never be. 

She didn’t know what to say to him now. She felt useless and intruding, wanting to offer some kind of condolence or apology but nothing in her head seemed to quite live up to the mark. She hadn’t known Han that long, would it appear invasive or rude if she spoke about how much she would miss him too? She decided to yield to that voice in her mind, not wanting to overstep, so she retreated to the cockpit, trying not to think too much about the man who’s seat she now occupied. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

In the very edge of the Outer Rim, the vivid green jungles of Ajan Kloss came into view as the Millenium Falcon came into orbit of the solitary moon. As they made their descent onto the surface, Rey still found herself rendered breathless by the utter vivacity of the colours, so bold she could taste the fresh morning dew puddling on the verdant landscape, she could smell the earthy mosses that cut through the sweeter ferns and palm scents. Sunlight breaks through the tall trees like needles, fractured by vines and leaves, leaving dappled shadows across her skin. 

Chewie landed in a small clearing and they were met by a crowd of Resistance members flocking towards the ship, shouting in gleeful cries. The throng of people meandered through a maze of boxes, foliage and rocks and some equipment that had definitely seen better days. Even the pilots who stood around their X-wings, some covered in large cloths, turned away from their tasks to stare at the new arrivals. 

The trio made their way out of the ship and down into the crowd. When they saw Luke, their eyes widened, some pointed and smiled and some stood still as if they couldn’t believe he was really here. _‘It’s him.’ ‘He’s here, Luke Skywalker. The Luke Skywalker.’ ‘Where’s he been? About time.’ ‘I thought he was a myth.’_

Rey heard their whispers which no one seemed to even try to hide from him, too excited by his presence and what that meant for the Resistance. It didn’t seem to bother him though, in fact he continued walking on past them giving them a humble smile as he passed. Rey wasn’t sure how he could handle all the attention, all the people constantly watching him. When you become this great a legend, people start expecting so much of you and she couldn’t help but wonder if this ever took a toll on him or if it all came naturally. 

A figure made its way into her periphery vision. She turned to see who. Leia. With slow, graceful steps, the older woman walked towards her twin brother, the swarm of people parting to let her through. Though usually the epitome of leadership and strength, Rey could see tears welling in her eyes, her small hands wrapped her grey outer coat around her midriff, like a blanket. For a moment, the two just stared at each other, reminded of how long it had been and just how much had passed in those years apart. Leia held out her hand and Luke took it eagerly, wrapping his own around it, and together they took that moment for just the two of them. 

“You’ve gotten greyer since I saw you last.” Luke finally joked. He nodded subtly to her hair, twisted into her signature Alderaanian braids. Far from the first words Rey was expecting them to exchange, it seemed exactly perfect to Leia, who laughed gently and gave him a look of amusement. 

“And you’re exactly the same, farmboy.” She reached out to envelope him in a tight hug, cherishing the rekindled connection with her blood, that twin bond that they shared. In their youth, they’d all too easily misinterpreted this feeling for something else, they’d ignored all the signs but now it was such a familiar sensation to come back to. They both thanked the Force that he had returned safely. 

The tender moment went on, most of the Resistance had now left not wanting to interrupt or intrude, leaving Rey to search for someone herself. She scoured the library of faces before, trying to find a familiar one. Finn. Her friend. Her first (and frankly only) friend. But she couldn’t spot him. She desperately wanted to talk with him, make sure he was ok. 

The dulcet melody of Leia’s voice calling to her stopped her search and drew her back to where the siblings stood. 

“Thank you, Rey. For bringing him home. I knew you were the right person to send.” Despite her words being so positive and appreciative, there was a more somber message hidden in the gaps between each word. Han. They were all thinking of him, how when Rey had returned to the base she had only come back with Chewie and Finn. 

Luke’s shoulders sagged in regretful defeat, heavy with the guilt and ghosts that plagued his thoughts. His blue looked at Leia, sad and imploring as if they were having their own conversation. “I’m sorry,” his voice broke slightly, “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you when Han died, or with him to stop it. To stop...Ben” 

The sound of her son’s name still shatters her heart, the pain of losing Han amplified to unspeakable levels with the knowledge that it had been their own son to do the deed. “I know you are, and believe me it means so much that you are here now.” And after a pause she added, “both of you.” looking directly at Rey. They clearly had more they needed to discuss, privately. They both shared some wounds of the soul and must do their best to help heal and forgive each other. Leia suggested that they should go inside to talk some more and Rey drifted from them, deciding it was time to find out about Finn. 

It had been hard to leave him after what had happened on Starkiller but she knew that he would have supported her going to find Luke. Hell, he probably would have volunteered to join her had been able to. Instead, he was here somewhere, possibly in pain, scarred and bed-ridden. This wonderful, brave, self-less person who had quite literally crashed into her life. But she had hope. Kylo Ren and the First Order couldn’t take that from her, no matter how hard they might try. 

A Rodian pilot directs her down a winding tunnel, past the cave opening where the large Tantive IV rested, guiding her to the makeshift infirmary tucked safely away from the entrance. Inside the small chamber, the air smelt of damp earth which seemed to cover up the stench of some of the wounds which Rey could see. It made her heart clench to see just how weak the Resistance was, there were so few of them left and there were so many beds full here. 

Suddenly, she saw Finn, sitting up in bed, clothed in a thin white shirt that had clearly been random pieces of material stitched together. But he was alive. 

His eyes caught her own when she was a few steps away from the end of his bed and his entire demeanor changed instantly. That familiar grin returned to his face and he said her name gently, like he’d been reciting it over and over and only now did he understand it’s meaning. He said it with hope. 

Before she could even think, she ran into him, completely covering him in the made-up medical cot and embraced him in a hug. She’d never really been one for human contact - kind of hard with no parents and friends - but she remembered when Finn had grabbed her hand on Jakku as they ran from the troopers, how she had hated it. Now, those same hands wrapped around her and she savoured it. 

“I’m so glad you’re alive.” 

She didn’t move out of his space as he laughed gently, though she could sense that it hurt to laugh. She couldn’t see his face as he responded with “It’s gonna take more than a lightsaber to the back to take me down, Rey. Someone’s got to stick around to keep you out of trouble.” 

Someone coughed subtly to her right, and exclaimed “In the limited time I’ve known you, I’m in quite the mind that it should be us keeping you out of trouble, Finn.” 

Pulling away slowly, she slipped out of his arms to stand back and inspect the stranger. He had a handsome face, the dark hair that would have gracefully framed his face in a state of disarray as if he had been running his hands through it a lot. He had his own set of cuts and scars that were dispersed on his skin, some nearly healed and some new and still red and sore-looking. This was someone who had a lot of experience on the battlefield.

The stranger stood from his small stool and held out his hand over Finn. “Poe, Poe Dameron. It’s a pleasure.” Rey shook his hand, her lips moving to start introducing herself but Poe held his hand up before she could say anything. 

“I know who you are, Rey.” He bent his elbow and leaned against the brown muddy walls arching over them, crossing one of his legs over the other. Poe’s head sloped to look down at Finn, wearing a smirk and clapping her friend on the shoulder. “This guy kept saying your name in his sleep. It got quite annoying in the end actually.” That caused Finn to roll his eyes but he didn’t say anything, just looked back up at Poe with that same smile that Rey had grown used to. 

“I’m serious, at one point we got worried that he was so damaged that ‘Rey’ was the only thing he could say. When he finally came to, a few days ago and he came out with a thousand questions, we were just thankful he hadn’t gone crazy in that coma.” Finn gave Poe a rude gesture but just turned back to her as he joked about Poe’s bedside manner. 

“So is it true then?” She turned her head to look at Poe. 

“Is what true?” 

Poe stepped towards her, not quite intimidating but purposeful. He leaned forward to murmur so only the three of them could hear. 

“That you went to bring Luke Skywalker back to the Resistance and that you’re a Jedi.”

Nodding her head she whispered quietly at the bottom of her voice, yes. He’s here, she told them, Luke Skywalker has returned. She didn’t agree about the part of her being a Jedi - she didn’t think she had earned that title just yet. The two men exhaled and cheered anyway, relieved and inspired by the news of the new addition to the camp.

After the big reveal, the three of them sit down together and enter into comfortable, easy banter, Poe reciting the wild story of how he had met Finn, who occasionally interrupted to add his own comments here and there when Poe apparently wasn’t ‘telling it right’. 

It was fun. She could tell that the other two almost needed this as much as she did. These moments were so rare now in the middle of a war that no one had time to sit around and talk about who was more reckless, Finn or Poe. (She was definitely starting to get the impression that Poe was quite impulsive and reckless, but brave too. A brilliant fighter and even better pilot.) 

Several hours later, Poe announced that he needed to find Leia to discuss the next steps and action plan now that Luke was here. “I’ll come by and check on you later, buddy.” Then, he stalked off to find the General. 

Rey resided that this would be a good time to leave too and let Finn get some more rest. Apparently, his recovery was going well and he’d be out of the bed within a few days provided his scars healed under the layers of Bacta. But before she could leave, Finn reached out to grab her wrist. His eyes were less soft, the smile had faded away. 

“Rey, I didn’t want to bring this up in front of Poe but I needed to ask you. What about Ren?”

_What?_ Her inner voice croaked, panic freezing her blood as a wave of cold rippled it’s way through her body. Finn couldn’t possibly know about her and Kylo’s bond. He was probably still in the induced coma when it happened. It was impossible. 

She tried to conjure an explanation, a sentence, just something to tell him, to put him at ease when he was obviously concerned. But what could she say when she barely knew what it was? She recalled the scene when Kylo had first appeared to her, his distinct voice repeating in her head and the same fear and dread spread throughout her. 

“This is risky and you know it.” Finn says. “It makes you more of a target, hell it makes us more of a target, Rey.”

“Finn...I-” she lost any idea of what she wanted to say. Her friend stared at her with conviction, the eyes of someone who had already made up their mind and Rey knew she wouldn’t have the reasoning to disagree with whatever narrative he spun about this development between their enemy. She knew just how much Finn hated Kylo Ren, the words ‘traitor’ and ‘scum’ grating on his psyche, twisting his own sense of identity. Kylo was ultimately responsible for the suffering Finn had endured, having seen all too many of the monstrous things the fearful leader had participated in, sometimes forcing the stormtroopers like Finn to do too. She turned away, unable to look at him because she felt ashamed and scared. 

“Look, I’m just looking out for you. I understand that it’s important and he’ll probably do more good than harm but the First Order will find out about this soon enough and what happens then?” That confused her but she tried not to let it show. “I would never say this to Leia or Poe, not right now, but we’re too weak, too low on numbers. If Ren decided to come here, I’m not sure if we’d be in a good state to fight. These people... they deserve better than to be put in danger.” 

She heard, rather than saw, Finn move towards her and felt his hand press gently on her shoulder. The gesture clearly meant to settle her, to provide comfort but it just made her transgression feel that much more like a direct slight against the man consoling her. 

“Rey,” he said slowly now, “just be careful. I know you had to bring Luke here but soon enough they’ll find out he’s here, they’ll discover that you’re a Jedi and Ren will stop at nothing to destroy you both.”

She twisted her torso back to him. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“You and Luke. Being here. Ren and the First Order will probably find out soon enough so I just want us to be prepared and cautious. Word is bound to spread- why? What did you think I was talking about?” Curiosity peaked in his voice. 

So he wasn’t talking about the Force bond with Kylo. Rey felt relieved though she tried not to deliberate about why she felt thankful that Finn hadn’t worked this out. She didn’t like lying to him but at this point, it was just an omission of the truth. She would tell him eventually, she was sure. Pretty sure. Right now, she needed to work out what it was and if she could stop it before alarming Finn and the others that she had some strange connection with their enemy. And Leia - kriff, what would think about her own son, the one she tried so hard to let go of, being linked to her, a stranger, a nobody? 

“Nothing, sorry. I’m just tired. I should go but I’ll come to check on you first thing tomorrow morning, I promise.” She squeezed his hand. “Good night, Finn.” 

It was only then after she’d left that she realised she didn’t really know where she was going. She meandered through the murky corridors deep within the cave, the ceilings getting progressively lower and the smell of damp getting stronger. She rounded a corner and bumped into a short figure. 

“Shit - I’m so sorry, what an absolute idiot I am, I wasn’t looking where I was going and then I just barrelled straight into you out of nowhere. I blame Kaydel for forgetting her damn jacket in the first place and me, being me, offering to grab it for her. And now I’m rambling, sorry, again.” The girl, close to Rey’s age if she had to hazard a guess, seemed flustered and shy, but Rey could sense her kindness and spirit. 

“It’s really no problem. I’m Rey.” She held out her hand in truce. The girl shook it eagerly, smiling coyly. She said her name was Rose, and continued to apologise, her hands shaking around in wild gestures as she acted out the events that led her here. You don’t need to apologise, Rey said sincerely. 

“Actually, if you feel like making it up to me, could you show me to the dorms? I didn’t exactly get a map to this place and all the passages look the same.” 

Rose chirped out a keen response and grabbed Rey’s hand, dragging her off to the right down another long, muddy conduit. A minute or two later, they arrived into the dormitory section of the cave which was clear from the small holes carved into the bowed corridors. Each modest chamber was sculpted perpendicular to the main passages, some were scarcely big enough for one cot - small bunks were created on top of one another, pillows and blankets draping over them. There were others, which looked more like rooms, a bigger open space which could contain several beds. 

Rose could tell that Rey was unfamiliar with this set up. “You must be new, did you get a bunk or bed assigned to you?” When Rey shook her head, Rose just smiled broadly. “Well what luck that Kaydel and I have a spare now, you can stay with us. You could take one of the beds in the main entry ways if you didn’t fancy sharing though.” 

“I don’t mind sharing.” she said. Despite being alone every night on Jakku, the idea of sharing a space appealed to her even if it was unfamiliar. She ducked her head to enter into the cramped gap, viewing the small three beds which were lined against the rounded walls. Two were clearly occupied, the sheets and blankets thrown across them unmade, a book resting on one and mechanical parts scattered on the other. Rey picked up part of what she assumed was a transmitter or radio of some kind. 

“So you’re a mechanic too?” Rose asked. 

Rey shrugged, “Not really. I fixed up some speeders and scavenged for parts from the old ship that had crashed on Jakku. How could you tell?”

“Oh, only people with a mild interest in this stuff would go straight to it. Anyway, I can tell you’re used to getting your hands dirty and taking care of things. I’m quite good at reading people.” 

Rose was friendly and caring, albeit had a tendency to chatter on but that was fine with her. It was good to have someone else to talk to around here. Other than Finn, she didn’t know anyone having been away searching for Luke and then busy trying not to die on Takodana and Starkiller Base to really interact with any of the other Resistance members. 

The third bed was neatly made, the covers and pillows untouched. There were no valuables or trinkets lying on the crips sheets. She asked Rose if there was no one else who the bed belonged to but that obviously was not the right thing to ask and had a deeper impact than expected. 

Rose looked down suddenly, shutting her eyes tight and her hand drew up to clutch a gold necklace around her neck. Rey hadn’t noticed it before. It was beautiful. “That bed belonged to my sister, Paige, but uh, she died.” Rose whispered solemnly. “She was part of the bomber squad and there was an accident, she gave her life to defend her fleet and make sure the mission was a success. They call her a hero. I always knew she was.” The last sentence came out in fractured words as a single tear dropped down the girl’s face. 

“I can find another place to sleep.” Rey replies but Rose adamantly shakes her head and tells her that her sister would hate to think of it going to waste. Wiping the lone tear, she leans over to a hook drilled into the side of the room to grab a khaki bomber jacket that hung up. 

“I’ve got to bring this back to Kaydel and then we’ve both got rounds for night duty so you’ve got the place to yourself for a good few hours. If you need anything, just ask any of the others in the bunks out in the main hallway.” She stops to regard her, not with a particular agenda but rather a hesitant feeling, something akin to hope. “I’m glad we bumped into each other. It’s nice to meet you, Rey.” 

Once Rose vacates the room, Rey descends on the third bed, tiredness weighing down her body, bones and muscles atrophying as she finally lies down in an effort to sleep. Muffled sounds of footsteps and conversations echo through the maze-like corridors of the base, richoting on the earthy walls. As night falls over Ajan Kloss and the Resistance settles into its evening routine, the sounds start to dwindle, becoming hushed tones and the quiet engulfs her consciousness, falling prey to slumber. 

She dreams of a cave, but not the one she currently resided in. This one was much bigger, the roof of the cave tall enough to fit a large ship and so large in area that she couldn’t see where it ended, instead the opening faded into black. There was nothing distinct or of recognition to her subconscious self; all she could see was tall columns and walls that at first looked black but when she got closer she saw they were a deep crimson. She tiptoed through the channels with care, each footstep seemed thunderous in the expansive silence...until she heard the voices. 

It started as melodic whispers floating above her head, she couldn’t make out any words she knew. The language sounded ancient, as if they hadn’t been spoken in a millennia, forgotten and clandestine. Gradually, more and more of the voices joined in until they overlapped each other and she couldn’t make out anything. Louder and louder they became. It disorientated her. She crouched down onto the cold floor, hands over her ears to try to quieten the cacophony of whispered cries. 

All of a sudden, they stopped. “Rey.” Someone spoke her name in the distance, startling her so abruptly that it made her wake. 

She sat up in the tiny bed and ran her hand through her hair. How strange, she thought. That voice at the end sounded familiar but now she was alert she could not recall who it belonged to. Trying to remember parts of her dreams that she forgot once she opened her eyes was like trying to draw without a pen or paper. No matter how hard she tried, nothing would materialise. Resigning that it was an worthless task, she got up and ready for the day ahead. 

By the time she stepped out of the bedroom, the rest of the Resistance base were waking too, people rushing through the halls and cargo and boxes lined up ready to be moved. She visited Finn, as promised, first thing and he seemed in good spirits after their last conversation yesterday. He seemed excited by the prospect that within a week or two he could get up and walk again, the doctors pleasantly surprised by his condition. 

She sat with him as they inspected his back, the drapes of his medical gown parted as they traced the long scar that ran down his spine. The line was still there, it would be forever they told him, but the skin and surrounding tissues had healed miraculously and he would have his full range of motion back. Still, it pained her to see the damage that he had endured, she knew that some scars couldn’t be seen on the outside and it was those ones which took the longest time to heal. 

Later that day, she sat in a meeting with the key members of the Resistance: lieutenants, captains, generals, fighter pilots, commanders, spies. People who had great influence and power here, Leia among them. Rey watched her with admiration as she gave a speech about their latest intel from one of their anonymous insiders in the First Order. Apparently, their troops were making footholds on several new planets in various systems, for now to merely oversee the locals and ensure order and peace but they all knew that could change in an instant. 

At one point, Poe Dameron, the cocky but intelligent pilot she met, spoke up urging Leia and the other Resistance leaders to move on the camps before they ‘spread like a disease’. But Admiral Ackbar, the famous Mon Calamari fighter and tactician, countered that they should wait a little longer to gather more intel on the intent of the First Order legions before any attack. The rest of the High Command agreed with the latter and they were all dismissed. 

After the bulk of the crowd scattered, Poe stalked towards Leia. Though she couldn’t hear what they were talking about, their faces and body language made it obvious that he was discontent with the decision of the others and Leia was trying to calm him, the way she always did. Rey turned to Rose and Kaydel, her other new roommate whom she had met earlier, to ask what the deal was with Poe. 

Kaydel replied, “He never likes to sit back and watch the First Order get a stronger grip on the galaxy, he takes it all very personally and thinks Leia and the others aren’t doing enough. Leia trusts him enormously, he was there for her through some of the toughest missions, he’s like a son to her in a way.” Upon hearing that, Rey gazed over at the elder woman dressed in a navy two piece, every bit the image of a General. She already had a son, she couldn’t help but think. He was the one responsible for all of this pain and suffering. 

Rey had soon realised that no one spoke the name Ben Solo here. Either the true identity of the mighty Kylo Ren was a secret or everyone collectively decided to not mention it. It must take a great amount of will for Leia to fight against her son, to know he would kill his own parents for his own benefit and for spite. Perhaps that was why it was the unspoken rule. It was too painful to hear. A branch that had broken off from the family tree, falling and fracturing and never growing back. She couldn’t bear the idea that you might have someone in your life and then decide to completely turn your back on them. The image of her parents leaving on that ship attacked her, their faces just a blur now, the features and voices of her own parents lost with time. What had she done to deserve that same treatment? She had been an innocent child. She craved that sense of belonging and family so desperately she felt a hatred bubble inside her as she thought of Kylo abandoning Han and Leia, two people who gave a damn for their child - he just threw it away. Perhaps one day the other would abandon her too, she was just a nobody after all. She carried that thought around with her for the remainder of the day like a permanent grey cloud over her mind. 


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days pass in a blur for Rey. She sets up a small desk next to Rose to help her new acquaintance with repairs to the ship’s fuel system and shield technology which had been severely damaged after their last encounter with the First Order. Wires extended across the floors of the caves, winding around the clusters of benches and haphazard stations where groups of different divisions operated from within the deep cave. 

Over her shoulder, Rey watched the Comms Squad attempting to get their radio and telecommunications with some of the other nearby rebel bases up and running. She didn’t want to say anything but she could tell it would take a lot of work. All the tech here was at least a decade old, most of the pieces were extinct now compared to what they were used to. But everyone seemed to keep working, quite happy to be busy and have something to occupy themselves with - Rey included. 

During the day, she works alongside Rose and they pass the time with effortless conversation, chatting about some of the various tidbits of gossip overheard in the barracks, Rose even opens up about her sister and the first fighter jet that they worked on together, how they’d argued about the modifications Rose wanted to make but Paige refused resulting in both of them getting shocked and ending up needing bacta patches on their hands to deal with the burns. 

Rey carefully avoids any questions about her own family, so by the third day Rose seemed to have picked up on her brushing it off and didn’t bring it up again. She didn’t mean to close herself off, especially to someone so warm and open like Rose, but it was hard to talk about with anyone. Every time she pictured that ship flying away, growing fainter against the landscape of the Jakku desert, it felt like a dagger slicing against a wound that was just about to heal. An internal scar that never had the time to heal. 

She barely saw Luke, or Leia for that matter, for several days. They seemed to have a lot to discuss and spent most of their time locked away in the bridge which served as the General’s meeting room. The two twins remained secluded from the rest of the Resistance base and Rey knew they must be talking about Han and Ben and everything that had happened since they had last been together. They had to grow used to being in each other’s space again, all the while knowing that despite their own bond, there was something missing - something which wounded them both. Rey hoped that Luke was able to let go of his guilt for how things turned out with his nephew as much as Leia would recover from the grief of losing her soulmate, her partner. But they were both stubborn-willed and passionate. 

Still, Rey couldn’t help but feel discarded. She’d been the one to bring back Luke, she was meant to be training to be a Jedi but her mentor had barely interacted with her at all since they had landed. She desperately hoped he wasn’t having second thoughts about teaching her. 

By the time a week and half had passed, Finn was cleared from bedrest so Rey found an easy distraction helping him hobble around while his muscles got used to walking again. But he was strong, stronger than Rey by nature, and soon the life and energy returned to his body. 

In fact he recovered so quickly that Poe began to joke that Finn had been fine this whole time and he faked the injury for attention. The pilot spent as much, if not more, time with Finn; the pair always making quips at each other but there was a softness to their demeanour which only came about when they were together. When neither of them were looking at each other, Rey bore witness to the idyllic stares that passed between them, the type that one only allowed themselves to do when they knew that the target of their gaze was not aware. Except Rey saw it. 

It didn’t make her feel uncomfortable or jealous. It was like watching two binary stars orbit each other, circling closer together at an untraceably slow pace, beautiful and radiant. She felt happy to just be within reach of their orbit, to be close enough to bask in the warmth shared between them. That was enough. 

Later, in her room that night, long after Rose and Kaydel had fallen asleep, Rey’s mind was still awake, restless and turbulent. There was a nagging feeling that she tried not to dwell on, but the encompassing quiescent lull of the night allowed for her thoughts to wander and only accelerated her attention to the strange connection she shared with Kylo. The synchronicity between Finn and Poe made her think of how scarily easy Kylo seemed to read her. It was probably because he was Force-sensitive, that grotesque mind manipulation power that she’d been submitted to on the First Order ship. 

And yet… in the quiet rooms of the base, she allowed herself one moment to dream. The image morphed in her head. If this had been a bond with anyone else (quite literally anyone) it could have been something she had always yearned for. To feel that intense pleasure of having someone know you, know the deepest parts of your soul that you kept hidden away. 

As she lay on her side, she couldn’t help but feel like there was someone behind her, watching silently but when she turned around, there was nothing there but the two other sleeping forms who had wished her good night hours earlier. She expected to see a figure grow from the shadows but no matter how hard she stared or long she waited, nothing came. 

Sensing that she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep, Rey grabbed her things to venture outside in the looming forests of the moon. She trekked through the foliage, the cool leaves caressed her skin as she strayed through the blooming bushes, ducking under low hanging branches. She moved languidly, without an endpoint in mind, just welcoming the fresh scent and greenery that seemed to thrive in the twilight. 

Eventually, she reached a small clearing in the woods, the perfect spot to clear her mind and practice some of that meditating which Luke seemed to be so fond of. Rey settled down in the sitting position, willing the Force to flow through her as she had been shown but she remained distracted still. The tickling sensation of being watched hadn’t gone away. She strained her eyes in the dark, peering around her trying to make out shapes in the undergrowth nearby. Perhaps she had been followed from the base. 

“Is someone there?” she called out, not expecting a reply. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

She jumped, turning around quickly at the modulated voice. Him. She seethed, anger swelling inside her at the interruption to her late escapade, the one where she was meant to escape from the thoughts of him just for once. 

“Have you been watching me this entire time?” she spat. 

Even through the mask, she could sense his fierce glare. For a moment, they just stood face to face until he started to circle around her with a steady pace the way an animal hunted its prey. “I have no more control of this than you.” He retorted. 

That’s not an answer to her question, she thought, but didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making her ask again. Instead, she mirrored his steps, moving opposite him in perfect time. 

Once again going silent, she took this time to take him all in. The menacing mask, long cloak and gloved hands. It was then she realised the contradictory patterns of light that fell across his figure. He seemed silhouetted in a bright white light, the same kind of artificial light that was common on starships. He wasn’t here. Although that thought made her feel somewhat safer, knowing he was lightyears away, it was still jarring to see him offset in the dark backdrop of the forest, lit up and glowing. 

“Wherever you are, you’re hard to find.” 

“You’re hard to get rid of.” He halted his steps at her words and stood a foot away, he made no attempt to move towards her. 

“You must know it’s worthless to fight against the First Order. The Resistance is weak. They lie to themselves, they pretend they have some great purpose to free the people when the reality is exactly the opposite. They are the ones who bring chaos and destruction and harm. The First Order stands to bring an end to the disarray in the galaxy. Under the Supreme Leader, a new dawn of order will remain.”

She didn’t want to hear it. “You confuse order with oppression.”

There was a shift in his energy, almost as if she had offended him. If he had emotions, she thought to herself. He kept his stagnated form, inspecting her from a short distance, searching for weaknesses. He sensed the familiar flare of riotous rage in her. His offensive tactics clearly eroding away her resolve. He continued, aiming for more hurtful themes which he could use to his advantage to destabilise her. 

“I’m not surprised that you too have fallen prey to the lies spun, probably by my mother.”

“How dare you speak about her-”

“And Luke too,” Kylo interrupts, “he is the biggest liar of them all, the whole history of the Jedi is torture and betrayal yet he insists on continuing that legacy, passing it to you. You know nothing of the so-called ‘freedom fighters’ you now associate yourself with.” 

Her hands curl into fists and she grits her teeth to stop from screaming. 

“But you’ve always lied to yourself, haven’t you? I’ve been in your head, I’ve seen every part of you, even the ones you try to hide from yourself. Your parents aren’t coming back for you, they’re dead, dead and forgotten.”

“Stop.” 

“You know it yet you continue to lie to yourself and for what? They didn’t care for you when they were alive, they cared more about their next drink than they did caring for their own daughter, yet you still wish for them. They were nobody. Just like you.”

The fact that he could say these things so calmly was maddening, enough to make her surge forward to strike him. Luke’s lightsaber hurtled into her hand as she called it from her belt. She growled as she raised her arm to attack. The blue plasma of her blade struck sharply on the vivid red of his own saber that he now held in front of his body. At some point, he too must have called upon his own hilt but she didn’t register the motion - fury and torment completely occupying her mind.

Her hits were swift, her nimble body and relative size allowed her to thrash at him quickly but he always seemed to be able to anticipate where he blows would land. He countered each attack, dashing around her and holding his blade close, slanted across his chest, with a strong grip. The blades sizzled as they clashed again and again, her erratic moves draining more of her stamina but she was determined to not give up. 

They moved, round and round, forwards and back. He was ruthless but not in a violent manner, his movements were carefully calculated, almost effortless and unforgiving. His skill and experience from all the years of training were clear as he was easily able to use her own assaults against her. The vibrant red beam angled just right to catch her own in such a way that she had to recoil, or a tactful stab down into the ground breaking her wide strokes. 

Once more, she retaliated but this time he swung back against her with such force that it completely threw her off balance and she fell down to the ground. She expected to feel a merciless burning when his lightsaber extended towards her, not quite with the right angle to kill her but certainly enough to cause her serious harm. The red light hovered inches from her face, the quivering beam hummed and obscured her direct vision of her foe.   
  
“You can’t hide Rey. Not from me.” He spoke in a rushed tone. She blinked. Then he was gone. 

His words were unsettling, hinting at something more. She knew he would be searching for her, for Luke too, that was always the risk but there seemed to be another layer, something hidden that Rey wasn’t sure she wanted to draw attention to but her thoughts didn’t seem to want to listen to the rational side of her. Yes, Rey knew that the First Order would be searching for them, he’d made that abundantly clear in their previous conversation. But his sentiment from earlier bounced around in her thoughts. ‘I’ve been in your head’.

What if he wasn’t just talking about her location? 

What was even more unsettling was the inconsequential ease with which he spoke her name. It came from his mouth so readily, as though he spoke it often. It didn’t sound sour or hateful. Instead, the solitary syllable came out softly. 

She hated him. Hated the way he manipulated her, hated the way he broke down her walls. 

The first rays of light started to stream through the emerald canopies as dawn eventually came. She needed to head back to base, there was someone she desperately needed to talk to. 

* * *

Kylo Ren removed his helmet, placing it on a nearby table in his now empty room. He was still catching his breath after his fight with Rey. He had been shocked to see her again, invading his space once more, standing idly and motionless in his room unaware of the fact that someone was looking at her. He clandestinely revelled in the few seconds before she sensed his presence, taking the moment to study her. Yet again, he was taken by surprise by this bond and that annoyed him, he could not decipher a trigger or reason for the bond opening but there must be one. There was nothing he hated more than not knowing something, it was his own fucked up way of seizing control, of always being the most powerful person in the room. _Knowledge is power_ , Luke had once told him. He hated that he was right.

He should tell Snoke, he will tell Snoke before he senses it for himself. That would be bad for everyone. But he needed to know just the extent of this bond, how it was created. Once he knew that, how he could manipulate it to his will or even better use it to manipulate her - then he would tell Snoke. Until then, it would remain a secret. When the time came, the Supreme Leader wouldn’t take this revelation lightly, there would be wider implications, consequences, punishment. There always was. 

He thought back to the confrontation. He had managed to triumph over her this time though it wasn’t quite a victory. She was strong, still untrained and unpolished but a natural fighter, one who certainly was a considerable opponent. That all-encompassing rage, so evident in her Force signal, if the hostility in her eyes hadn't been enough, resembled the tone and passion he felt himself. With some level of indignation, he knew that they were similar. And it was just possible that this could be the answer. He would turn her to the Dark Side, one way or another. Not just removing the threat of the Jedi but in doing so, proving to his master just how powerful he was.

Clenching his hands once more, Kylo turned around to exit his quarters. He couldn’t spend all day being distracted by the scavenger despite his own interest in her. He stalked off to pursue Hux, who owed him a report on the preparations for their new plan. 

He found the aforementioned ginger on the bridge as normal - with the same dismal scowl on his face as ever, flustering and squealing at a group of officers. The noise coming from the other man grated against his temper, his contempt for the general coming out in full flare. Ever since Kylo had been here in the First Order, he had hated to be around Hux, Snoke maddeningly seemed to insist on keeping around and though Kylo was not jealous or threatened (Hux was on a completely different level to him) he still spent as little time with the other as possible but Snoke argued that Hux had his uses, Kylo was doubtful but kept quiet. 

Hux was fanatical and no doubt dedicated to the First Order to the extent that his vision was myopic when it came to the Resistance. His skills and knowledge summed to only military training and vexing Kylo. He clearly had a personal vendetta against anyone who was Force Sensitive, Kylo included. It was Hux after all who kept up the system to detect anyone with Force abilities in the First Order troops and eliminate them. He knew that as a result of his lack of ability to remove Kylo, the man held a particularly strong malice against him. Hence he was always guarded and apprehensive when Hux was present. 

“Give me an update on where we stand, General.” Kylo grit out. 

Hux glowered begrudgingly but went on to list out updates on the weapon systems and operations, the number of troops stationed on the planets they were occupying, the most recent intel from their spy network and insight on the state of their enemy. 

“The Resistance is weakened, sir, it is, in my opinion, an opportune moment to attack them, to drive them out of their base on Ajan Kloss, leaving them exposed and deplete their numbers.” 

“No,” he rejected, “not right now. We should gather some more intelligence, find out their plans and wait, it’s only a matter of time until they need to split off, or venture away from their base. And when they do, we’ll be waiting, we can pick them off in smaller groups, wait until they run to one of their allies then attack and show them all what happens to those who positions themselves against us. We’ll destroy them one by one until every last rebel has bled at the hands of the First Order.” 

His answer displeased Hux, his shoulders hunching over more than usual, the shadows catching under his eyes, hues of purple clashing with the amber of his hair. But he replied with a curt ‘very well’. And that was the end of the discussion. 

“What about Order 724?” Hux asked. Ah yes, Hux’s little pet project. “They’re ready, just awaiting my order.” At that moment, Hux stepped closer to him, staring pointedly into the black visor of his mask, moving into his space so only Kylo could hear him. His voice came out just above a whisper. “You’ll be happy to know that the Supreme Leader has given me total authority over when to execute the order. I don’t report to you, Ren.” 

Kylo stood stiffly, “Are you waiting for my congratulations?” he grumbled. Humour was lost on Hux, the man had the personality and intelligence of a womp rat. 

“I’m just making sure you remember that here on the ship and out there in the Unknown Regions, as we colonise more and more planets, it is me who ensures our grip is strong. It is me who commands our legions. Snoke knows this too.”

“Snoke also knows who is responsible for overseeing Starkiller.” He clearly hit a nerve, Hux blinked violently. “And we both know how well that went for you.” 

“This is not something that the Resistance can just blow up. The Supreme Leader himself knows the value of my work, knows I will be the one to lead the next phase of our attack.”

That may be true, he thought to himself, but he could easily remove Hux. The temptation to stretch out his hand to force-choke him was almost impossible to ignore. He could picture his face as the air floods from his lungs, throat tightening as a ghostly pressure squeezes around his neck, tendons bulging and suffering. The flesh of his face flushing red as he struggled to breathe. He’d show Hux just who was in control here. 

The vision was interrupted by Mitaka stumbling towards him, muttering that the Supreme Leader wanted to see him immediately. The General didn’t move a muscle as Kylo left the bridge, instead pale blue eyes followed him until he was no longer in sight. 

Snoke was seated on his tall throne when Kylo arrived. He dismissed Mitaka instantly, who seemed more than eager to escape as quickly as possible, the short lieutenant scurrying away in fear. 

“Ah, my young apprentice, how good of you to grace me with your presence.” Snoke sneered sarcastically. 

Kylo kneeled again, head hanging low, face obscured by the ever-present helmet. He did not raise his eyes when he spoke the word, ‘Master’. 

“It is time to continue your training. I sense great power growing in the Resistance and you, young Solo, must be prepared to snuff it out.”

“Whatever you ask of me, Supreme Leader, I will do.” The words came out instinctively, Kylo hardly gave them a second thought. 

He hated being called by his birth name, he knew that it was only used to trigger him, weaken his reserve. A way of manipulating him, Snoke knew his tendency was towards anger whenever that name was mentioned and it was that strong, overwhelming burn that ignited in his veins which was the fuel for all his power. The Sith taught that the easiest way to harness the Dark Side was through pain and anger. 

He felt the familiar pressure on his mind, like two hands squeezing his skull, as Snoke invaded his conscience. To resist it, was to resist the will of the Supreme Leader, but it did not make the sensation any more easy to bear. There was a dull pain of stuffing in another consciousness into one mind, as if a phantom limb was suddenly growing inside him. He could feel when Snoke had reached the innermost parts of his mind and settled there, combing through thoughts and memories. 

The next words he heard Snoke did not say aloud but instead spoke into his head. _‘Pain is what makes you strong._ ’ This was all part of his training, Snoke took him apart piece by piece, finding any weakness or disloyalty, first using it to torture Kylo, using images from his childhood and morphing them until they were replaced with more bitter versions - his parents disowning him, hating him, fearing him, Luke betraying him, holding him back - and then the physical torture came along too. With each image, Snoke psychically maimed him, sending fiery sparks up and down his limbs each more excruciating than the last, not withdrawing the mental images of his past, so as to associate that pain and trauma with it. 

Next, just when the last signs of life were showing and his mind was sufficiently weakened, he instilled the teachings and wisdom of the Sith and the First Order, and slowly put him back together. _‘There is no power without sacrifice_ ’ he could hear his master say. 

He was molten lava, boiling and blazing and bubbling over, then molded and compressed in the crucible of the Dark Side until only a cold, solid rock remained. 

After what felt like hours, the claws on Kylo’s mind retracted and the onslaught of pain on his body subsided. The voice in his head quietened once more leaving him to hear the raspy, desperate pants coming from his own mouth as he struggled. At some point, he must have fallen from his kneeling position to the floor, so he used the little strength he had left to pick himself up. He was not weak. 

Snoke was in exactly the same position as before, staring from his the centre of the room, not unhappy but not well pleased either. 

“Do you know why I chose you? I saw what all masters long to see, raw untamed power. But with you, the mighty Kylo Ren, I saw something more, something truly special. The power of your bloodline. A new Vader.” 

The mention of his grandfather fuelled his resolve. This was his purpose. All those years of hearing that voice in his head, Darth Vader, had led him here straight to Snoke. It was his destiny to finish what his grandfather had started, once and for all. 

“Now, I’m afraid I was mistaken.” 

“I will not fail you.”

Snoke’s eyes squinted at him sceptically. “We shall see.” he muttered. 


End file.
